


The Roommates

by ash_mcj



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Avengers - Freeform, Avengers Family, College!Avengers, Cussing, Domestic Avengers, Dorks in Love, Facebook, Funny, Gayness Everywhere, Getting to Know Each Other, Identity Reveal, LGBTQ Themes, Multi, Mutants, Roommates, Secret Identity, Stony - Freeform, Texting, chat fic, shits and giggles, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23900746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ash_mcj/pseuds/ash_mcj
Summary: It's all shits and giggles, until someone giggles and shits!When Tony Stark decided to get roommates for his house in an effort to experience a normal college life, he really had no idea what he was getting himself into. He blames Rhodey for this shitshow.[This is a text fic where they are heroes, but they have secret identities and do not know about each other. De-aged (all are young college-aged). This is mostly going to be shown through text with lots of links to pics, because I have so many and I have ideas. Hopefully this gets some people through their Quarantine boredom.]
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Hulk/Thor, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie/Carol Danvers, Clint Barton/Pietro Maximoff, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, Laura Kinney & Logan, Loki/Wanda Maximoff, Michelle Jones/Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker/Harley Keener/Wade Wilson, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	The Roommates

**Author's Note:**

> I put it in the tags, but I will remind you all here as well: there is cussing and gayness in this. If you have problems with those things, you are free to go find something else to read :) No hard feelings.
> 
> This isn't exactly crack, but it's also just...it's silly. What else would you expect from a bunch of young barely-legal (secret) superheroes, all put into a house together while trying to pass college?

**_Private Messages_ **

_[Tony Stark, James Rhodes]_

**Tones:** “Get roommates” you said

 **Tones:** “It’ll be a fun college experience” you said

 **Rhodey:** it’s been less than 24 hours, tony

 **Tones:** exactly. And steve has already gotten on my ass TWO times about my language. As if i’m not a fucking aDuLt

 **Rhodey:** you called him a star-spangled-motherfucker and he asked you politely not to call him that. That wasn’t about language as much as him not appreciating your name-calling.

 **Tones:** uh who’s side are you on here??

 **Tones:** and his shirt had stars on them...what else was i supposed to call him, rhodey??

 **Rhodey:** steve woulda probably worked fine

 **Rhodey:** you need to give them a chance. Get to know them. You invited eight people into your house--there is going to be an adjustment period.

 **Tones:** i want them GONE

 **Rhodey:** why don’t you make a roommate group chat with them all and we can get to know each other without all the forced interaction? 

**Tones:** no thx

 **Rhodey:** anthony

 **Tones:** eW FINE don’t full-name me

\---

**_Chat: Roommates_ **

_[Tony Stark added James Rhodes, Steve Rogers, James Barnes, Clinton Barton, Natasha Romanov, Laura Howlett, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, and Peter Parker to the chat]_

**Tony:** This is the official Roommates chat, because Rhodey thinks we need to get to know each other

 **James:** can you change my nickname? Only you have admin privileges.

 **Tony:** I guess I could do that for you

_[Tony Stark changed James Rhodes’ nickname to Jim Rhodes]_

**Tony:** only i can call you rhodey <3

 **Jim:** thank you

 **Peter:** i love group chats! This is a great idea!

 **Tony:** you look like the kind of person that would love GCs

 **Peter:** ...offended, i think

 **Jim:** tony, play nice

 **Tony:** how is everyone settling in?

 **Wanda:** Laura and I are all unpacked and everything. We’ve been roommates since we were like twelve, so we each already knew where to put everything.

 **Wanda:** [Our Room](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/604889793690667159/)

 **James:** I want those blankets...they look so soft

 **Tony:** wait, twelve? Are you guys related?

 **Laura:** no, we went to Xavier’s Institute together since we were children

 **Tony:** waittttt the mutant school?? You guys are mutants??

 **Peter:** oh my god, you can't just AsK pEoPlE iF tHeY'rE mUtAnTs

 **Pietro:** yep, Laura, Wanda, and I are all from XI

 **Tony:** so you have powers or some shit, right?

 **Wanda:** yes...

 **Steve:** I think they should be able to come to us about that when they feel ready to

 **Jim:** thank you, steve. Finally someone with some common sense to help me corrall tony

 **James:** HAHA stevie?? Common sense?? No

 **James:** also, can you change my nn to Bucky? I don’t go by james

_[Tony Stark changed James Barnes' nickname to Bucky Barnes]_

**Tony:** you guys are so high-maintenance

 **Peter:** Pietro and I just finished setting up our room :)

 **Peter:** [Peter's Side](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/604889793690667327/)

 **Peter:** [Pietro's Side](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/604889793690667348/)

 **Pietro:** i got placed with a NERD. like, there are SCIENCE posters on his half of the room. And textbooks everywhere. Look at these things he didn't show in his pic.

 **Pietro:** [wall art](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/604889793690667228/)

 **Peter:** i've been e x p o s e d

 **Peter:** what happened to roommate confidentiality?

 **Pietro:** confidentiality is dead

 **Clinton:** technically, we are all roommates. Says so in the chat name

 **Laura:** he's not wrong

 **Wanda:** Pietro, do you not have a bed??

 **Pietro:** i have a couch. Same thing.

 **Laura:** not really

 **Pietro:** Sacrifices had to be made in the budget department. Small price to pay for a mini fridge

 **Clinton:** honestly, that's genius

 **Pietro:** thanks, man

 **Bucky:** ayy we have a minifridge too

 **Bucky:** [Steve/Bucky](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/604889793690667180/)

 **Clinton:** natasha wont let me send pics of our room, because she says it's no one's business

 **Natasha:** it's not

 **Tony:** wait are you guys dating?

 **Clinton:** fuck no im gay

 **Natasha:** and im very lesbian

 **Clinton:** we're just best friends

 **Natasha:** that's debatable

 **Clinton:** wow okay

 **Clinton:** cool

 **Clinton:** Stark, can you plz change my name to Big Sad?

 **Tony:** no

 **Clinton:** can you change it to Clint? If I have to see my full name every time i text something, i will yeet myself off the roof

 **Tony:** then it stays

 **Clinton:** okay, rude

 **Jim:** anthony edward stark

 **Tony:** ALRIGHT no need for that shit, rhodey, damn

 **Steve:** language

 **Tony:** imma lose it

 **Jim:** just change Clint's name

 **Tony:** does ANYONE ELSE NEED ANY NICKNAME CHANGES?

 **Natasha:** im good

 **Steve:** me too

 **Pietro:** change mine to Daddy

 **Laura:** pietro, don't make me kill you

 **Wanda:** you know she will, too. i wont save you this time

 **Natasha:** you kill people, too?

 **Laura:** wait...are we friends now?

 **Natasha:** i think so

_[Tony Stark changed Clinton Barton’s name to Clint Barton]_

**Clint:** yeee thx man

 **Peter:** tony, can i have admin privileges?

 **Tony:** definitely not

 **Peter:** whyyyy

 **Tony:** you're gonna give us all stupid nicknames after I just went through and fixed them

 **Peter:** you dont know if that was my plan

 **Tony:** was it?

 **Pietro:** he's pouting

 **Bucky:** proof needed

 **Pietro:** [Peter Pout](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/604889793690610124/)

 **Tony:** i fucking knew it

 **Natasha:** wait he is precious

 **Natasha:** i just realized that I’ve never seen Peter??

 **Wanda:** must protec

 **Laura:** also must protec

 **Bucky:** honestly...i also must protec

 **Peter:** aww thank you, guys :3

 **Bucky:** there’s no food in this whole house

 **Tony:** i wasnt expecting company

 **Peter:** but you chose move-in day??

 **Tony:** whats your point?

 **Clint:** i’ll go pick up dinner. Are we feeling pizza or chinese?

 **Tony** : coffee

 **Jim:** tony, that’s not food

 **Tony:** is coffee not made from BEANS?

 **Peter:** coffee=beans, beans=food, tony=not wrong

 **Jim:** don’t egg him on

 **Tony:** thank you, pete. You’re my fave roommate

 **Peter:** im crying

 **Pietro:** no he’s not 

**Peter:** i’m crying on the i n s i d e, bro

 **Peter:** stop exposing me

 **Laura:** chinese is always the answer

 **Clint:** okay, what does everyone want? Ya’ll have venmo, cashapp, or paypal?

 **Steve:** bucky and i do

 **Wanda:** same with laura and i

 **Pietro:** affirmative for petey and i

 **Peter:** my name is not petey

_[Tony Stark changed Peter Parker’s name to Petey Parker]_

**Petey:** whAT TF

 **Tony** : calm down, Petey. We are trying to figure out dinner plans.

 **Petey:** but

 **Petey:** no??

 **Natasha:** u already know i have venmo. Get me orange chicken

 **Clint:** is everyone good with me getting a shit ton of orange chicken, fried rice, and chow mein? Then we can just split the bill. 

**Petey:** make sure to get fortune cookies please

 **Wanda:** pure^

 **Clint:** okay, imma head out then, since there are no objections. Be back in a few

 **Natasha:** bye

 **Steve:** what colleges are you all going to?

 **Jim:** yes, let’s get to know each other a bit (the whole point of the chat)

 **Jim:** tony and i go to MIT

 **Tony** : i’m working on my PhD in engineering and my Masters Degree in Artificial Intelligence. I just finished my Masters in physics last semester.

 **Steve:** oh my...how old are you, Tony?

 **Tony:** eighteen. I’ve been at this school for three years, though. I figure i’ll just hang out and get a bunch of degrees before having to go run my father’s company when he dies

 **Natasha:** i knew you were that Tony Stark. Clint thought it was just a coincidence.

 **Steve:** wait i actually worked with your father for a bit when i was in the army

 **Bucky:** oh yeah, howard

 **Tony:** gross, let’s not talk about Howard.

 **Jim:** i’m working towards my bachelors in aerospace engineering.

 **Tony** : lets go around and say ages and say something about ourselves or something

 **Jim:** i’m 23...i was in the airforce for 4 years.

 **Steve:** thank you for your service

 **Bucky:** booo air force. Army’s where it’s at. Air force, chair force.

 **Jim:** ay, watch yourself

 **Natasha:** ladies, you’re all beautiful

 **Natasha:** im 19. Studying kinesiology at Bay State College. Steve and Bucky go there, too. I’ve seen them around

 **Steve:** i’m 22, obviously was in the army for four years, and im an art major

 **Tony:** wait, really? You look like a history or english guy. You draw?

 **Steve:** i draw and paint, yeah

 **Bucky:** he’s actually really good

 **Bucky:** i’m 22, past army, and studying film media and photography

 **Wanda:** 18, studying religion at Bay State. So is Pietro.

 **Pietro:** but im studying linguistic anthropology...not religion

 **Clint:** im waiting in line. EVERYBODY in the entire state wanted chinese food tonight

 **Clint:** and i am 19 and double majoring in kinesiology and ASL

 **Peter:** i love ASL!

 **Clint:** im deaf, so...it’s my language haha

 **Tony:** wait whatttt? You’re deaf?

 **Petey:** you can’t just ask someone iF tHeY’rE dEaF

 **Clint:** yeah, but I have hearing aids. I can usually hear people fine with them, but it’s always helpful to be facing me when talking, so i can see your lips/expression. It can help piece things together if I didn’t catch it all.

 **Steve:** will do, clint :)

 **Petey:** I’m learning ASL right now...could i practice with you by any chance?

 **Clint:** of course, pete

 **Tony:** peter, what are you studying?

 **Petey:** oh, i’m working towards my Masters degrees in biochemical engineering and physics at MIT

 **Tony:** wait

 **Jim:** oh god, another child genius

 **Tony:** how old are you??

 **Petey:** turning 18 in a month! :)))))

 **Wanda:** PETEY IS BABY

 **Laura:** facts^

 **Natasha:** facts^

 **Bucky:** facts^

 **Tony** : facts^

 **Clint:** facts^

 **Pietro:** [Petey is Baby](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/604889793690610413/)

 **Petey:** jfoiehfuekfboa guysssss

 **Petey:** big thanks

 **Petey:** my name is still not Petey tho

 **Clint:** shh yes it is

 **Clint:** okay I got the food. I'm on my way back & everyone owes me $4

**Author's Note:**

> I hope someone enjoys this lol. 
> 
> Let me know if it made you smile :) That's my goal here.
> 
> If you want to support me even more, you could follow [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/marvel-obsessed-chick)


End file.
